I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
