I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
