My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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