If that was your dad, he is hot
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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