I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
