u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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