dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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