she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
