my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
