But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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