Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
