You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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