Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
