omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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