do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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