operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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