i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
