You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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