Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
