he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
