I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
