You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
