I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
