I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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