I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
