How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
