I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
