so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
