Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize