Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
