you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
