and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
