I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
