Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
