I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
