Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
