I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
