He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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