Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
