My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
