The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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