For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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