no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
