I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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