I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
