She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
