Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
