We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
