Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
