Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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(313): View more from Michigan

well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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(618): View more from Illinois

You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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(512): View more from Texas

But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already

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(719): View more from Colorado

Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore

(303): View more from Colorado

guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge

(303): View more from Colorado

the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog

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(217): View more from Illinois

yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?

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